Queer Advice to Change Your Life
Including real-life advice from trans columnists and YA about rival aroace relationship advice columnists.
Today’s Our Queerest Shelves is brought to you by: The Dial Press, publishers of The Prospects by KT Hoffman
As the first openly trans player in professional baseball, Gene has nearly everything he’s ever let himself dream of—that is, until Luis Estrada
Minor league baseball leads to major chemistry in this exhilarating, sexy, and triumphant rivals-to-lovers debut romance. Gene Ionescu is the first openly trans player in professional baseball. He has nearly everything he’s ever let himself dream of—that is, until Luis Estrada, Gene’s former teammate and current rival, gets traded to the Beavers. Gene and Luis can’t manage a civil conversation off the field or a competent play on it, but in the close confines of dugout benches and roadie buses, they begrudgingly rediscover a comfortable rhythm. As the two grow closer, the tension between them turns electric. Find out more about The Dial Press, publishers of The Prospects by KT Hoffman here!
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Years ago, Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed was having a moment on Book Riot. A compilation of advice column answers? How cheesy, I thought. But when the audiobook came up as available at my library, I decided to give it a try — and was immediately sucked in. I cried in public listening to this audiobook. Multiple times. I’ve listened to it twice, and I know I will again. Far from saccharine, the advice given is clear-eyed about the pain of being alive, while still insisting it’s worth it. That’s the kind of inspiration I need. This set me on an obsession with advice columns, especially on audio — and of course, it could only be improved by coming from queer advice givers.
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Dear Prudence by Daniel M. Lavery
Basically, any time I’m not writing or reading, I’m listening to Daniel Lavery’s Dear Prudence podcast. I started at the beginning, and I’ve gone through several years now — I’m dreading reaching the end. But first, I listened to this collection of some of the best questions and answers during Lavery’s tenure as Prudence. He offers thoughtful advice, and the questions both scratch my gossip itch and remind me of what a rich tapestry life is. (As Lavery would say.) This isn’t all queer, but some of it is, and Lavery mentions his own transition.
Care Of: Letters, Connections, and Cures by Ivan Coyote
Ivan Coyote is one of my favorite authors, so it’s no surprise this collection of letters hit me hard. During 2020, Coyote’s usual speaking engagements were cancelled, leaving them space to finally answer the letters and emails they had been saving for when they had enough time to do them justice. I loved the audiobook, and it was another one that had me tearing up in public.
I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl's Notes from the End of the World by Kai Cheng Thom
This isn’t technically a collection of letters and answers, like the previous two books, but Kai Cheng Thom had an advice column for years with Xtra. Her advice is rooted in her politics, and it’s both empathetic and inspiring. This same voice comes through in her other writing, like these essays. I could just as easily have included Falling Back in Love with Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls, but I know I mention that book a lot! …It’s just because it’s so good.
And now, for some fictional YA takes on queer advice columnists!
Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales
Darcy runs an anonymous advice column in her high school. When a classmate catches her, she agrees to try to help him get his ex-girlfriend back, in exchange for keeping her secret. But then Darcy starts falling for him, which was not in the plan. This also has a great discussion about biphobia and bi erasure.
Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao
This one is out next week, and I can’t wait to read it! Sophie is an aromantic and asexual college student who runs a relationship advice column on Instagram called Dear Wendy. Her nemesis is the account Sincerely Wanda. When Sophie and Jo meet on campus, they bond over their shared aroace identity, starting a-spec group at their school. But will their friendship survive the revelation that Jo runs the Sincerely Wanda account?
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Queer Bookish Goodies
I know all of these advice columns are done digitally, but I still associate advice columns with physical mail for some reason, so here’s a queer and magical postcard! $9
That's it for me! Until next time, you can find me at my sapphic book blog the Lesbrary. You can hear me on All the Books, and you can also read my Book Riot posts and subscribe to my other Book Riot newsletter, Read Harder.
Happy reading!
Danika